In the past, women were imprisoned by the weight of social prejudice. However, now they are living in a more open society, stepping out of their “shell” to pursue their own paths and thrive. At first, it might sound good and inspiring, but do societies perceive that it is themselves who mock their own idea of gender equality by molding women into phrases such as “successful” and “independent”?
The development of a progressive society not only brings a breath of fresh air to the economy but also sparks waves of modern perspectives that make women brave enough to find their voice and step out of their family to grow and affirm themselves in a world that used to value men's dominance over anything else. This regime has lasted for centuries, and until now, it’s still an invisible cage imprisoning women, particularly in regions where livelihoods are still a luxury. However, it is undeniable that women have been stronger, more independent, and have become a symbol of the new era, of the dreams long-nurtured behind society’s irrational walls over the years.
Yet, once the light of progression illuminates one side for too long, darkened corners get overlooked. A new prejudice quietly creeps up, claiming that women are only valuable if they can earn money. Those who choose to stay home and care for their families are often labelled as passive, dependent, or old-fashioned. Choosing to be a housewife should be a woman’s right, yet today it is often denied and regarded as a sign of failure.
In the end, what truly defines a woman's worth? Is it when she devotes herself to caring for her family, or must she dedicate all her time to building economic resources?
WHAT MAKES A WOMAN’S LIFE MEANINGFUL?
So, what is a meaningful life? A journey is only worthwhile if it carries value, and so is life. These values don’t come from superficial aspects like success or wealth, but from feelings and experiences. The meaning of life is something we can never confine within a certain definition, so there is no precise interpretation of what “worth living” is. That is to say, life’s value would rely on how we see it and not social stereotypes.
If that is the case, then why do women have to fight for their lives’ values, something everyone should have full control of? To clarify, let’s go back in history, to the First Agricultural Revolution when men’s role was accentuated mainly due to their physical prowess, making men responsible for most physical labour. A byproduct of the First Agricultural Revolution, private property ownership, eventually caused the downfall of matriarchy. Men had the right to decide almost every aspect of family; their role was elevated due to the prevailing social belief that only men were capable of earning money and providing for the family, and only they could be a leader of a group or a community. On the other hand, women were expected to be gentle and graceful, and to take the role of a supportive wife, maintaining the harmony of the family. Overall, each gender held a unique role in nurturing home life, yet why were women treated with such disrespect? In 1070, Vietnam officially adopted Confucianism from China, which came with male chauvinism. Confucianism built a patriarchal society where gender roles were rigidly defined; men were deemed the powerhouse of the family and government. As a result, all powerful and prestigious positions of a country, such as officials and kings, were exclusively held by men. On the other hand, women virtually held no power or status, neither seen as equals nor deemed “worthy” of being compared to men. They became secondary in importance: expected to obey, worship, and serve the men in their families. Women were barred from education, the imperial examinations, and any significant roles in society, but were expected to “only” manage the household. Because of these ideas, society ignored the souls and sacrifices of women; in other words, they were taken for granted. Although their role in the family is crucial, people have a tendency to normalize that and label them as weak, passive, and a burden. But now, the love and care that women used to give freely have become a standard to measure their value. Women are forced to live in humility, obedience, and submission, and have to please everybody, especially men. They have to follow strict gender roles set by society, seen as the weaker sex, and to follow the Three Obediences: “Obey the father before the marriage, obey the husband after marriage, and obey the first son after the death of the husband”. Only by living this way are they seen as respectable, or even worthy of life.
In the end, that “high-value life” is based merely on shallow values and social standards. Deep down, how many of them could truly find happiness and fulfilment when they’re imprisoning themselves with that invisible cage? Women never stop fighting, hoping for a brighter future, defining themselves as well as believing in a world where they are respected. And finally, their time has come: as society grew more civilised and progressive, women have now been able to freely express themselves. They can choose what life they want, what they want to do, and above all, women are no longer restricted by men. In the end, the last question is whether this freedom is truly set in stone, or merely the calm before the storm?
WOMEN ARE FORCED TO MAKE SACRIFICES TO ACHIEVE THE LIFE THEY DESIRE.
Along with modern society come feminist movements that fight for equality, freedom, and civilisation. Thanks to these strong efforts, today’s women have slowly won back their basic human rights, escaped old social rules, and started living proud, full lives—not lives limited by traditional gender roles. But do we truly understand what feminism really means or are we twisting it into a trend where women want to “live like men”?
Rampant misinformation on social media has become a big barrier to raising public awareness about gender equality. It distorts the meaning of feminism, leading to extreme behaviors and strong social prejudice. One clear example is toxic feminism, where women try to act more “men-like”, and society supports this idea. Many believe that becoming strong, independent, rich, and successful means they are modern and keeping up with the times. But in fact, when women try to follow the image of a “modern woman” based on standards made for men, they are accidentally saying those standards are correct—that they define a person’s value. This way of thinking doesn’t break down the patriarchy; instead, it makes it stronger, just hidden under the name of feminism. Real gender equality is not about women acting like men, but about giving everyone the right to choose who they want to be and being respected for it.
Women’s burden is shifting from family responsibilities to the pressure of financial independence. Society expects women to excel as wives, mothers, and financially independent professionals all at the same time. Under the pressure of these unreal expectations, many women lose touch with their true selves, trapped by invisible chains of prejudice that they cannot escape. In such a world, women are compelled to make painful trade-offs in pursuit of a meaningful life: either conforming to societal standards for praise and recognition, or staying true to themselves and being despised, criticized by society.
MUST WOMEN “HAVE IT ALL” TO BE ACCEPTED AND LOVED?
In modern society, women are often subjected to an unspoken set of rules, a “path to success” that quietly imprison them in a vicious cycle of pressure. The so-called ideal woman, according to common stereotypes, is expected to embody a flawless blend of qualities: excelling in public life, managing household duties, maintaining physical beauty, and fulfilling her maternal role. Though often highly respected, this expectation is, in reality, a suffocating mold that forces women into a relentless race to “have it all.”
But is this standard really realistic, or just a vague illusion created by society that leaves many women tired from trying to please everyone? It can be said that women feel pressured from the very start of life. When they are young, people keep asking, “When will you get married?”, as if marriage is a mandatory task with a deadline. After marriage, the question becomes, “When will you have children?” and later, “Are you raising your children well?” At every stage of life, women face new expectations and rules. Every step, every choice, and every moment seems to be judged—not based on what makes them happy, but on what others think.
This phenomenon is not limited to everyday life. In popular culture, women are often portrayed as idealized figures who “do it all.” Take, for example, the character Miranda Priestly in the iconic film The Devil Wears Prada—a symbol of ultimate career success. Yet beneath her commanding exterior lies a portrait of loneliness, a broken family, and a hollow personal life. Her story exemplifies the heavy cost women pay when society demands that they “have it all.”
In reality, expecting any woman to simultaneously excel in every domain is not only unrealistic—it is cruel. “Having it all” is a fantasy: no one can be perfect in every role without sacrificing, compromising, or losing parts of themselves in the process. Love and acceptance should be granted based on a person’s inherent worth—their authentic self, not for a fabricated version created to appease societal expectations. Whether a woman chooses to focus on her career, become a full-time homemaker, follow her personal passions, remain unmarried, or live child-free—she deserves to be respected and loved just the same.
NO CIVILIZATION THRIVES WITHOUT HONORING WOMEN’S CHOICES.
A society truly progresses only when every choice made by a woman is received with understanding rather than prejudice or judgment. It is only when a woman can freely pursue her own path, whether ascending to career heights or finding contentment in a simple life undisturbed by whispers of gossip, that we genuinely uphold human values. Inspiring real-world stories underscore this truth. Jacinda Ardern, former Prime Minister of New Zealand, made headlines by both leading her nation and giving birth during her tenure. Yet, her widespread adoration stemmed not merely from her ability to “balance” career and family, but from her audacity to live authentically up to her own decision making, directly confronting societal prejudices, all the while maintaining profound humanity in her governance.
A woman needs not strive to please everyone around her or labor to prove her worth to deserve love and respect. We simply cannot impose unreasonable standards of perfection upon them or expect them to embody everything. After all, true freedom and self-pride are the ultimate goals of genuine love and recognition. A thriving civilization is one that respects women’s decisions. A woman could choose to be a housewife, a leader, an artist, an entrepreneur, or even choose a path of non-action, and regardless of her choice, she deserves to be embraced with understanding eyes, not scrutinized by the “eyes” of prejudice. In a truly civilized society, women should have the unfettered right to choose and shape their own happiness, the right to choose their own path without being judged. Freedom from the condemnatory gaze of others is the true foundation for a progressive society.
However, it is anything but trivial for a woman to start living as her true self. Not only do they have to stand up to societal prejudices, they also have to face conflicts within themselves. On one hand, they desire to be free, to be able to follow their own calling. On the other hand, they face the pressure to meet the expectations of their family, community, or even the expectations they have built themselves to feel “valuable enough” to others.
So how can one possibly reconcile the desire to be oneself with the need to become a valuable individual in the eyes of society? How can a woman be both confident in her choices and not feel out of place in the community? The answer cannot come easily, because it requires a process of identifying, dismantling, and rebuilding the very inner values.
First of all, it must be acknowledged that each person holds their own definition of happiness and success. There is no one-size-fits-all formula. A woman who chooses to live modestly, dedicating time to herself and her family, is no less than one who conquers career pinnacles. A person who chooses to live alone, traveling, and pursuing their passions, is nothing “unusual” that needs justification. Every life, as long as it is lived with conscious choice and self-love, is equally complete.
Next, society needs to learn to respect differences. Not every woman needs to get married before 30. Not every woman needs to bear children to be considered “complete”. Not every woman needs to maintain a perfect body figure or pursue any images of an “ideal woman”. Respecting women means respecting their freedom to choose their own lives – even if those choices defy the general norm.
Lastly, every woman also needs to learn to love herself without needing external validation. She needs to learn to value herself based on what she truly believes in, rather than on the applause or admiring glances of others. A person’s worth, ultimately, is not based on how many people they “manage to please” but on how true they are to themselves.
The journey for women to be themselves and feel worthy is undeniably challenging, yet it is one full of pride and meaning. A truly progressive society is a place where every woman, regardless of which path she chooses, can confidently walk with her head held high, unafraid of the judging gaze of the world.
A woman who chooses to work outside of her home is strong. A woman who chooses to stay home and be a housewife is also strong, albeit differently. A diverse world that is vibrantly colored cannot exist if all the women live in monotone.
Unfortunately, amidst the currents of modern feminism, we have at times lost sight of this crucial truth. When society began delineating a woman’s worth by her financial capacity rather than her inherent human value, when a full-time mother was met with pity instead of gratitude, that's when equality truly went astray. Equality is not about assimilation, not about everyone donning the same uniform, doing the same job, but rather it is about respecting all forms of life and choice.
If a woman chooses to stay at home and devote her heart to raising her children, it is not a step backward. She is not living off of anything, rather, she is investing in the future generations. No one has the right to price hardship with a monthly salary, because there are many things that cannot be converted into money and can only be felt within one’s heart.
What the feminist movement needs to restore is not just opportunities, but choices. Beside that, what civilized societies need to relearn is not just how to empower, but how to recognize every form of female presence as a complete value of their own.
Authors: Nguyễn Đặng Huỳnh Trâm, Phan Quỳnh Anh Thư
Translators: Huỳnh Phương Anh, Nguyễn Ngọc Linh, Trần Ái Linh
English 
Vietnamese
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